Blurb about my OCs and Me
Not too sure where I wanna go with this, but I was mostly just thinking about how my main OC(s) end up having a lot more overlaps with me than I sometimes realize, and I realize far too late about it.
Mostly cause I realize ... Sylvie has a thought process where they don't think that people will remember them. Obviously they are a god who has been forgotten/left behind, so their train of thought isn't all too surprising, especially when they will outlive even human companions that have a short hundred-year lifespan to cram people and events and things. But I realized today that I ... also struggle with conceptualizing that people think of me outside a bubble, if that makes sense. It's weird to wrap my brain around the concept that I can be admired, or talked about outside of conversations ... I guess kinda like ...
God fuck it all cycles back to ADHD doesn't it LMFAO, I was gonna say it's like object permanence and the idea of being out of sight, out of mind. If it's the case, it's probably why it's hard for me to imagine that I remain in people's memories or that people admire me/things I've done, cause my own brain is lost in its own world until I have visual reminders of someone/something (even though I also have people I admire for what they've done, I dunno why my brain just has a blocker thinking the other way around).
... and I only realize this now fully in looking at my own OC.
Obviously, there's more than just that, Sylvie emulates a lot of the energy I'd like to have, though my pool of energy is very subpar 99% of the time. Also ENFP (them) vs INFP (me), a love of trying out new things, of food, and ... y'know, getting the ADHD beam after I began researching it for myself. Though ironically, unlike my suspected inattentive ADHD, theirs is hyperactivity and moving at 100% almost all the time and being unable to sit still.
Hideki was the other main OC I had for 7 years before Sylvie took that mantle, and because he had been with me for so long (literally through high-school and my college years), he's absorbed a lot from me.
- INFP personality type
- Gamers
- Subpar confidence from back then and bad social anxiety
- Overthinkers
- Love language is cooking
- Easily emotional and turning to crying to cope
- Tries their best to be nice to everyone, surprised when it's returned
I lived a lot through him in a way, in his successes and his sadness as an outlet.
... so yeah ... har har, boo boo the fool is I ...
Although my other big OCs (Yadyra and Nameless) do not have that emotional tie-in to my heart as coping mechanisms, and considering how much they are their own characters standing on their own feet (also immensely non-human and not like my personality at all), parts of me still slip in. Hell, food as a joy will always tend to remain in all my characters, even if they don't need to eat, or they're more specific enjoyments (inside joke between a friend and I is that Yadyra currently has a burrito obsession).
Anyway! Incoherent blog post yapping that you bleed in over your OCs more than you realize 🫣